On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
