This girl is more easily done than said...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
