i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
