Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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