is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
