this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
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That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
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Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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