Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
