I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
