That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
