Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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