yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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