youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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