Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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