..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
