Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
