Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
