OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
