i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Randomize
