Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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