His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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