i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I see more hoeing in ur future
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