you would pick up someone in the library
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I wish you could order shots online.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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