I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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