The maid of honor just puked.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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