Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
