So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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