I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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