I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Found the puke drawer
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
