You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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