the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
