i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
