just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I want to make a zoo with you.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
