We won't sleep together?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
