I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
