I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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