Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
A bitchslap is in order.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
