This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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