Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize