I'm eating all of the evidence.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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