there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
