Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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