try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
