Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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