Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
