There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
