4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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