happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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