this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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