I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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