yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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