When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
