and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
