i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
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