well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
