And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
