if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
