Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
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