just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
