youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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