dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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