one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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