you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
So apparently I’m into choking now
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
