The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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