Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
