Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
