So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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