She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
