Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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